Ever hear of this snazzy lil' creature called Writer's Block? (If you answered no, I don't like you anymore.)
Well, folks, I've been bitten by the Writer's Block Bug, and I'm suffering from a severe case of... you guessed it - Writer's Block! (Wow, brilliant sentence, Katie! No wonder you still have four pages of paper to go.)
In cases like these, the scientifically proven method of treatment is to stare blankly at the computer screen, fingers poised and ready for the oncoming flow of genius, until the blinking cursor mocks and jeers you into semi-madness. At this point, you check your email, hoping against hope there's some Extremely Important communication you need to take care of Right Then. There isn't.
Back to your document. Type two sentences. Erase one. Sit for a minute. Look up a word on wikipedia. Write another sentence. Erase whole paragraph.
Go to Yahoo and browse through the headlines. You'll find such inspirational news stories as:
-Giant Saw Blade on the Loose (I kid you not. Let's skip going to sleep tonight, 'kay?)
-Earth Day's Tragic Inspiration (Yeah, I'm thinking I'll not waste my brain cells on this one.)
-$100 Bill Gets a Makeover (Awesome! Wait, what did it look like before? 'cause I'm not really in the habit of taking out my multitude of $100 bills and looking at them. Oh yeah, because I don't have any.)
-NFL Releases its Schedule (REALLY!!!???? Be still my beating heart! The event I've waited for, longed for, hoped for is FINALLY here!)
-Why You Don't Need Laundry Detergent (followed by a much anticipated series on "Embracing Your Inner Pig.")
-Hairstyle Trends Men Like (Who cares?) (Okay, okay, so I read it.)
-Connecticut Mayor Donates Kidney to Facebook Friend (Wow, I'm so moved and inspired. Not.)
Go back to paper. Get amazing spurt of productivity and write a whole long paragraph without a pause. Feel like such an accomplishment deserves a reward. Go fix some ice cream. Come back. Discover that productivity spurt is gone. Bang head against wall.
(For those of you who are preparing to leap on my back via cyberspace about all the time I'm wasting writing here, let me clarify that this post was written in small increments over a space of two hours.)
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8 comments:
dearling. i'm sorry. writer's block is a nasty nasterson.
one thing i've found that helps is to (surprise) keep going back to your outline if you get stuck. ask yourself, "what is the next exciting piece of information that i need to communicate to my breathless, waiting readers?"
word verification word - blesses.
I don't know what your paper is about but that post was full of inspiration. You have quite a talent for smart, witty and humorus writing. Keep it up girl.
when you said you had writers block I thought you meant this http://mrsvierkant.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/writers-block.jpg obviously I read to much Calvin and Hobbes
I have an announcement:
I AM FININSHED!!!!
Finished writing, finished editing, finsihed poring over stupid footnotes!
Um, good luck with yours! ;)
Hahaha thats soo funny, Katie!! So very creative.
My first thought: It' took you two hours to write this?
Second: Okay, Jacob, that was lame.
oh, Katie, i can so sympathize. i'm all out of writer's block bug spray. and that leaves me in a very stuck place on most of my stories.
you can do it! keep it together!
the H
Made me laugh - as usual. LOVED the headlines...
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