Last night, as I was sitting cross legged on the floor, writing and sipping my cup of hot tea, I looked up from my page just in time to behold a spider hurtling towards my cup and saucer. It wasn't a very big spider, in fact she was a little spindly, but it was the single fastest spider I've ever come across, and she was heading straight for my tea.
I rescued my tea and killed her at the same time, because I have major skills.
And then I began to wonder - why was she headed straight for my tea, instead of for my leg, to chomp it? (Which is why spiders usually come out of hiding, in my opinion: to chomp legs.)
Was she a suicidal spider? Had I killed her husband and she decided it would be very fitting to have revenge by drowning in my beloved hot tea? (Her revenge would have been complete had she carried through that gruesome plan; I can't imagine much more traumatizing than watching a dead spider float about in my wonderful tea.) Did she have a large family of small spiders who had been stressing her out all day and she thought if she could just drink some life-giving nectar she'd be okay? (While I whole-heartedly agree with the "life-giving nectar part," the "large family of small spiders" kinda freaks me out, so I'm choosing not to give any credence to this theory.) Or was she just a creature without the capacity to think, who was just acting on an impulse, (or whatever it is they act on,) which unfortunately got her squished with a kleenex?
You decide. (And if you're not going to be able to sleep tonight with curiosity as to my opinion, personally I think it was the first option.)
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5 comments:
I barely survived. That spider, was me.
You see, I bought some the other day, but I had no means of boiling the water. I just about went to a hot-tea frenzy, but I thought I could subtly steal some of yours. Sooo close.
(btw, you really ought to be more considerate when you post something. What you thought was just a fascinating story I saw as pure cruelty.:-) )
Pure cruelty?
No.
Spiders are all evil.
Without exception.
You don't kill THEM, they bite or scare the dickens out of YOU.
AMEN, SISTER! Nice try, Jacob - we know it was really you. Katie, you continue to brighten my day by reading your funny, bright, witty, and otherwise fantastic posts. I love you. I hate spiders. We were made for each other.
My dear friends, I fear I had not made my meaning at all clear, as I now see. My only intent had been to express what pining after some York or piping hot Chai had been provoked. But grant these, and you may go on with whatever arachnid genocide your hearts desire.
oh, no! Jake, you have given away your identity!
and i have experienced your fear of spiders, Katie. and i must admit that i find it rather amusing.
the H
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