"Hmmm... what's that great big black blob on my leg?" I wondered. A splash of black paint? Ink? A squash bug?
As I bent down to take a closer look, a buzzing sound filled my ears, getting louder the closer I leaned, until it sounded about like I would imagine a helicopter landing in the yard to sound like. And then I realized the truth.
It was the top-dog, granddaddy's granddaddy of mosquitoes on my leg. I kid you not, this creature was massive. And he had obviously been feasting on someone else, because it wasn't just black I saw. It was red. Red, as in blood red. (Mama, you probably should stop reading now. Actually, you probably should have stopped reading two sentences ago.)
He was swollen up to about three times as big as a normal mosquito, and he was attached to me. Me. My leg.
Now, here's where I was brave. As in really, really brave. Because I could have just jumped up screaming and run for the house, leaving the villain alive. But Phoebe and Isaiah were with me, and I knew that if I lost this chance to kill, the monster would just wait around for the next innocent victim to step foot outside, or worse, would follow us in and eat us alive. Because he could have eaten us alive. At one bite. All of us. Seriously.
So, I took steady aim, and .... SLAP!
And that was the bloody end of Mr. Monstrously Huge Evil Mosquito. Let me tell you right now, when I say bloody end, I mean bloody end.
I dashed for the hose and sprayed my hands and leg until they closely resembled prunes. Then I dashed for the house and used enough soap to clog a drain pipe. I scrubbed pretty hard, too. My hands haven't forgiven me yet, nor has my leg. If a bruise pops up in the next few hours, I won't have to wonder where I got it. 'Cause I did not mean to miss, and when I slap, I slap hard.
If I lack bravery in the snake department, I totally make up for it in mosquito annihilation.
5 comments:
You go, woman! Way to dominate that mosquito!
I did it for all womankind, amelie.
Okay, is womankind a word?
Jake, do NOT make fun of me.
Katie,
I find your suspicion and reproach entirly unaccountable. Your ability to make much of the most minute circumstances is a rare thing. Next time, in my day to day life, I happen to encounter a rare specimen of the natural world such as a mosquito, I will try to make careful note of it.
(and to reinforce all your delicate statements, I could have trully warned the mosquito that human blood isn't really that good).
Only girls mosquitoes bite. (that's just what I've heard)
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