There is a strange and twisted rumor drifting around that I pierced my friend Eleanor's ears with a knitting needle.
Seriously, people?
A knitting needle?
Have you met one of those huge, blunt, thick creatures?
Scratch that. Have you met me? Me who could never, ever, ever possibly - by any stretch of the imagination - shove a knitting needle through anybody's ear without passing out into a crumpled heap of nothingness. It was hard enough to do it with a darning needle, because you would not even believe how tough ear skin is. I guess I'm glad we have thick skin which is not easily pierced by needles, but it's rather inconvenient when one's goal is to create a nice round hole in said skin.
Eleanor wrote about this harrowing, (and hilarious, I assure you,) experience here. I can testify that she isn't exaggerating as much as you will think she is.
I'll also say that when we tried putting a potato behind her ear, we didn't realize that you were supposed to cut the potato in half. Yeah. We tried holding a whole, cumbersome potato behind Ellie's petite earlobe. So maybe we're not the most brilliant girls ever.
But hey, Ellie's ear is still firmly attached to her face, and she wears earrings all the time. Those two facts are really all that count.
And someday, we'll sit around when we're ancient and toothless and croak out the story to our grandchildren, who will roll their eyes and say, "We've heard that story five hundred times, Grandmother!" (except neither of us intend to be called grandmother.) And we'll say, "You haven't heard it five hundred times! In our day, children never exaggerated, no not one bit."
I'm really looking forward to that precious occasion.
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8 comments:
I just want to know who thinks we're stupid enough to try using a knitting needle. Wait...don't answer that.
I knitting needle? Wow. But, that is a rather funny mental image... except for the part where Ellie would be screming in terror.
it's like a scene from a horror movie...
"i'm going to stab your ear with this knitting needle! Muahahaha!"
Well if someone didn't know y'all and just read this a hoorific but hilarious account, one could easily come to believe you were both blondes due to the fact that you put a WHOLE POTATO behind her ear! That is an image I won't soon forget. Cmon girls, really? If we both wind up having daughters about the same age some years down the road, I will at least be able to warn them of the dangers of "homemade earpiercing"amongst their friends:):)
all anyone had ever said was "put a potato behind the ear." we're just trusting wee creatures who do what we're told, okay?
no judging.
Oh wow. Haha. I would never have the courage to pierce someone's ear!
Hilarious. Thanks for sharing. And yeah, a knitting needle would be totally ridiculous. Huge, long, cumbersome thing. :D
I've heard this story--not five hundred--but at least a few times. Do I get to call you Grandmother?
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